This annual spectacle may be repugnant to you, and you may have already planned to escape the seasonal madness. If you haven't already done so, however, you should be aware that it is now too late... you will be swept up by concerned relatives, the focus of frenzied negotiations. The simple truth is that most families simply cannot tolerate the Christmas opt-out; no matter how hard you protest that you're looking forward to a cosy day of tv-viewing and seasonal treats, you will find yourself a sitting target for concerned relatives.
If you are currently locked in tactical negotiations, be flexible and tolerant. It's no good insisting on hosting the Christmas festivities this year, if it is an absolute article of faith that someone else in your family always does so. Is it that important to you to play the host this year? Or is it better all round to accept the status quo with good grace? At least you won't have to cook the Christmas lunch...
If you've always enjoyed your own family Christmases, don't make a fetish of them. This year, you may find that your'e under a moral, and social, obligation to spend Christmas with your in-laws. It's no good feeling resentful, privately ticking off all the ways in which their Christmas celebrations don't match up with your own' family's. Much better all round to approach the holiday season with an open mind, and a willingness to be entertained. If it's truly grotesque, just file away the worst travesties for future reference – everyone loves tales of Scrooge-like horror and your Christmas anecdotes will make you the toast of the town in the dull aftermath of the new year.
Above all don't bite off more than you can chew. If you're hosting, then don't over-reach yourself, inviting your entire extended family, their partners, pets, and a few waifs and strays. It will only end in tears. If you promise to undertake a grand tour of friends and relatives, involving driving many hundreds of miles in wintry conditions, you are creating a situation in which tensions and fatigue run riot.
And remember that brevity is the key to harmonious holidays. If there are familial tensions, or the children's hyper-excitement is wearing thin, these difficulties will only be exacerbated by the amount of time spent cooped up together. Don't over-commit yourself, and plan the holiday season carefully to ensure that frenzied socialising alternates with tranquil relaxation.
Finally, don't take it too seriously. It only happens once a year, and it will all soon be a distant memory.
Happy Christmas!
Miss Debrett's Top Tips
- Be flexible and tolerant. Sometimes it's better to accept the Christmas status quo than ring the changes.
- Approach the holiday season with an open mind, and a willingness to be entertained. If it's really grotesque, you can always file away the anecdotes for future use...
- Remember that brevity is the key to harmonious holidays. Don't out-stay your welcome, and if you're hosting make arrangements (for arriving and, more importantly, leaving) clear well in advance.
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